Arts: advanced verse writing

 Verse using sayings

I like constructing versicles that have a well-known line sneaking in at the end. The trick is to begin with the final line.

The Dark Knight
The knight rode up, in squeaking armour,
Fury writ upon his brow
And strange to say, he rode a lama—
A thief had nicked his favourite cow.

A knight whose thing was riding cattle?
I hear you ask, in rising fear.
Why yes, he did, even in battle—
His horse he’d sold to pay for beer.

His helm was sable, like his rage
And black was all the gear he wore
Save on his arm an off-white gage
But black was the stubble on his jaw.

He slapped his shield upon the bar,
His shield with the motto “Ebon semper”
He made it clear, both near and far
He had a really nasty temper.

He kicked the spittoon over twice
And gave the crowd a dreadful fright
And then they saw, as in a trice:
It was a dark and stormy knight.

Kids and lambs
I recall, one winter’s day,
Our mothers led us out to play
And we took off our hats and coats
And romped among the sheep and goats.

Our mothers had gone out to paint
The scene, but one fell in a faint.
The other mothers brought her round,
And that was when we children found

She thought it made us all look cheap
To frolic with the goats and sheep.
She wanted us, midst rocks and greenery
To form part of the painters’ scenery.

When faced with such artistic needs,
Obedient youngsters mould their deeds.
We children gave our solemn word
That we’d be scene but never herd.

This last one comes from a question I was asked once in Luang Prabang in Laos.

My frypan is a handy size
For cooking food and swatting flies
So if you want things cooked in fat
I’ll say “Would you like flies with that?

To write amusing verse, you have to be an opportunist! Then again, a lot of science began with somebody seeing something odd, and grabbing the opportunity.

Verse about the seasons

There are very few simple verses about the seasons as we encounter them in Australia. I am working on a set myself, at the moment, so I know it can be done. I am not about to reveal those here, but I am prepared to challenge you to do better, without seeing what I have done.

Work on a plan of 4 to 12 lines in verses of 4 or 6 lines, using rhyming schemes like abab, cdcd etc., or maybe aabccb etc. Pay VERY careful attention to where the stresses come, and see how much scientific background and Australian natural history you can slip in.

The main thing to recall is that finding rhymes for the seasons can be extremely hard, so work on finding other words that are easier to rhyme, something like:

The trouble with summer: it’s hot;
The trouble with winter: it’s not.

OK, not one of my best, but you get the idea. Pay some attention to the punctuation—you would be amazed how much information you can give to the reader with the right punctuation marks.

Master Class: Piet Hein’s grooks

Elsewhere, you have met the soma cube and a superellipse that were invented by Piet Hein (1905 – 1996), a Danish inventor, scientist, mathematician, philosopher, designer, author, and poet.

Hein specialised in short verses that made people think, like these:

ATOMYRIADES
Nature, it seems, is the popular name
for milliards and milliards and milliards
of particles playing their infinite game
of billiards and billiards and billiards.

OMNISCIENCE
Knowing what
thou knowest not
is in a sense
omniscience.

Look him up, and then try your hand at a few grooks of your own.

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