Arts: Science limericks on a rainy day

Under an alias, I sometimes contribute to OEDILF, the Oxford English Dictionary in Limerick Form, and it amused me to see that OEDILF had chosen to refer contributors (including me) to a page on the website that was the original of this book. They cited it, because too many people think five lines, with an AABBA rhyming scheme will do to make a limerick. There’s more to it.

There are five lines, with lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 rhyming, but elegant limericks use different words at the line ends. To be acceptable, limericks also need the right rhythm, or metre, shown by capitals for the stressed syllables below, while on the right, you can see an old favourite: notice how we can sneak in the odd syllable, or leave one out, at the ends. Look at lines 4 and 5:

d-DAH-dah d-DAH-dah d-DAH (dah)           There WAS a young FELlow named WHEELing,
d-DAH-dah d-DAH-dah d-DAH (dah)           Who RODE on a TRAIN bound for EALing.
    d-DAH-dah d-DAH                                           It SAID on the DOOR:
    d-DAH-dah d-DAH                                          ‘Please don’t SPIT on the FLOOR.’
d-DAH-dah d-DAH-dah d-DAH (dah)           So he CAREfully SPAT on the CEILing.

As a rule, the best limerick writers begin with the last line, or the last two lines. For example, I came up with this next one, after seeing the letters OLE on a car’s number-plate. I thought of the shout of the Spanish crowd at a bull fight, jumped to Café Olé, and that gave me the last line:

A Spanish soprano called Fay
Always sang in a can belto way
 In the Coffee Cantata
 When she was a starter,
The people cried Café Olé!

That all came to me during a walk of 200 metres, from when I passed the car, to when I reached the bus stop I was headed for. Then I just had to tweak it. The moral is: always keep your eyes skinned, as limericks can come from anywhere.

As a first exercise, I invite you to write some limericks, given a few lines to work with. In five lines, you will introduce somebody, explain where they are or what they are doing (second line), explain what happened to the person or thing in line three, what the reaction was in line four, and finish the whole thing off in line five.

Now you are ready to begin, with this hint: when you are writing short pieces (essays, stories, speeches, limericks or jokes), it is always easiest to start knowing the ending. Once you know where you plan to land, all you have to do is set things up so that you get there. The best place to start is with a zinger of a line 5.

Fifth lines:

And made cider inside her inside (that’s an old one);

The President slithered away;

A Norse of a different colour;

The people cried “Cafe au lait” (Olé) (used above but can you do better?);

(There aren’t many fifth lines, because when I get a good one, I generally use it).

Third and fourth lines

It is usually better to have a good word play in mind for the fifth line, or a good idea about your third and fourth lines. Here are some couplets:

Though she feared they had germs,
She ate all the worms

His large flock of wrens
That he passed off as hens

They found the canary
Was rather too hairy

As the camels walked in,
They started to grin,

If the horse had a chance
It would normally dance

She said “Thanks very much,
But I cannot speak Dutch,

 

Third lines

As the rainforests fell;

For the rest of his life;

The Impressionist school;

As her feet turned to lead;

As the keyboard went green.

First lines (with some rhyme ideas):

There was a young man from Palm Beach (reach, beseech, teach, leech, leach, peach, preach);

A kangaroo hunter named Fred;

There was a young girl from Dee Why;

There was a young lady called Smith (myth, pith, kith, with (?)).

Other ideas for limericks:

Dig into a textbook, and look through the index for some interesting words. Visit your library, and see if you can find a rhyming dictionary—it lists words by their rhymes.

More limerick ideas

Keep in mind that the sorts of skill used in planning a limerick are very like those you use in some games.

Try thinking of a word that is hard to rhyme, and make it a challenge. Many years ago Chester (Phillip Graham), wrote something very like this:

There was a young fellow from Babylon,
Invented a board to play Scrabble on.
         They were wonderful boards,
         Applauded at Lord’s,
And now they have caught with the rabble on.

And even this is a limerick, if you say it the right way:

An oblique hint for that limerick:

The are some numbers that have names: 2 is a couple, 12 is a dozen, 20 is a score, 100 is a century, and 144 is a gross. Are there any other words like that?

No, honestly, that was a red-hot hint! Of course, you have to know that in Heavy Mathematics, the full stop or period means “times”.

If you still can’t get it, the limerick was composed by Leigh Mercer. Use that to search.

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